School. Sports. And now summer camp? The losses seem to be piling up left and right, and most kids are experiencing at least one major disappointment as we move into the summer. Many are facing multiple losses, with the possibility of more looming on the horizon. We can’t prevent our children from experiencing loss, much as we’d like to do so. So what’s the best way for caregivers to help kids manage their disappointments?
We’ve previously highlighted Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of the book The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired, and her work on the power of presence continues to inspire and inform our youth development philosophy at Camp. Tina released a short video earlier this week in which she directly addresses the question of how to help kids navigate the loss of summer camp and other highly-anticipated seasonal activities. A mom of three “camp kids” herself, Tina empathizes with the losses that disappointed campers everywhere are experiencing this summer.
Tina’s advice in this video is simple yet powerful: Disappointments are inevitable and help kids to develop resilience, AND kids need help and support from their caregivers as they process these losses and feelings. “It’s good for them to practice sitting in difficult feelings and difficult experiences because the way we become resilient is by practicing dealing with difficult things,” Tina emphasizes. “And the difference between something being a loss and it having a really negative impact on someone and having a loss and it being a positive impact for someone is whether or not someone is there to support them.”
The good news for parents and caregivers, Tina stresses, is that we don’t need to try to fix or change our children’s experiences of loss and disappointment. The important thing is simply to show up and be present and practice empathy when our kids are going through difficult situations and uncomfortable feelings. By demonstrating to our children that we are a “safe harbor” for them during their challenges and that they can turn to us with their emotions and struggles, we help them develop the resilience and positive lessons they will carry with them into the rest of their lives.
We highly recommend watching Tina’s short video to learn more: https://www.tinabryson.com/news/video-helping-our-kids-manage-summer-disappointments This is a challenging and disappointment-filled time for all of us, kids included. But by showing compassion and care to one another, we will get through it together and emerge even stronger than before.